Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It's a God thing...

A little over a week ago, I got a call from my Mom, telling me she had just found a note she wrote me on June 9th. As she read it to me, I couldn’t stop crying – because it was suddenly so obvious to me that God was in control. The words she wrote me on June 9th confirmed everything that’s happening right now is so right. And strangely enough, it answered a lot of questions I was asking God at that present time. In the note she said that she had woken up in the middle of the night and felt like she was supposed to write me. And she just happened to find it in an old journal she hasn’t used since then; on the perfect day I needed to hear it. If THAT’S not a God thing, I just don’t know what is.

It was so comforting to know that God has been preparing for this time for a long time. He knew I would be let down and that my guard would be up - and He made sure there was someone I trusted to speak His words to me. I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. And I’m surrounded by the people I’m supposed to be with. It doesn’t mean getting here was easy, and losing people in my life was easy, but it’s all soooo worth it.

I’ve said it a thousand times since I’ve been here, but I think it’s worth repeating. :) There is something so peaceful about being right in the center or God’s will. God has transformed my heart in so many ways since being here.

I’ve also had a lot of time to reflect on my time in Bellingham after DTS and before I came here. I was really unhappy with who I was and what I was doing in my life. I was mad that I was “stuck” in Bellingham – I really wanted to be in some kind of ministry. And I had just become angry about all of the stupidest little things. I didn’t trust that things would work out. Mostly, I was just angry at myself because I knew I wasn’t living up to my potential in who God has made me to be, but I had also lost all hope and motivation to change that. And fear controlled my life. I was constantly afraid of everything: being home alone, driving at night, getting robbed, the dark, etc.

Once I got here, God flipped my world upside down in ways I cannot describe. I’m not angry anymore. I have SO much more tolerance and patience, and I KNOW that could only come from Him. I’m not scared; I feel protected. For the first time in a long time, I feel like my life is finally coming together.

I’ve recently noticed how much more joy I have in my life. Even my laugh has changed. Now it’s this really loud deep-seated, belly laugh – and I’m pretty sure my neighbors all hate me for it :) But it feels good to laugh like this again, with this pure, soul-deep joy.

I am so in love with Guatemala. Sometimes I think I was made to be here and I can’t imagine settling anywhere else. My heart is content :)

I love walking into the blue house and being smothered by a herd of little girls. I love how Wendy always walks around with her Max Lucado devotional book (in English) because she thinks it’s the Bible. I love watching Oscar lead worship and listening to the congregation worship the same God I worship back home in Northlake. I love greeting everyone with hugs and kisses on the cheek. I love holding hands with little girls and listening to their laughter all day, everyday. I love teaching people English and learning what a willingness to learn really looks like. I love looking out across our yard and seeing beautiful mountains and volcanoes. As far as I’m concerned, this is about as good as it gets.

Lately I’ve been thinking about something that happened during my third week of DTS. Our speaker had been telling us about some sacrifices that some of her friends have had to make to follow Jesus. And she asked us: “Would you be willing to do that? If God called you to go, and you knew something like that was coming, would you go?” We all sat in silence for about ten minutes before Mark stood up and made a commitment to go anywhere and give up anything if God called him to. One by one, we all stood up and made the same commitment. Afterwards we spent the next few minutes worshipping from our tables – but there was something different about the way we sang the words this time. For a lot of us, it was the first time we had ever realized WHAT we were living for. And how it really was worth it ALL.

Oh man… :) Good times.

And now, a few photos for your viewing pleasure...









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